another circle around the sun
Every year on my birthday I try to reflect on the year that has past and remind myself of all the incredible things that have happened. So today as I reflected on the past year I found myself smiling fondly at the memories of things that happened, the moments of growth, the flickers and strikes of pain and fear (yes I smiled at those too) and the fact that my body has made it through another year.
My body, which has made 42 circles around the sun with me, is still here. It is with me every single moment of every single day, no matter what. My body holds those I love tightly. My body sits with my clients and students to learn and listen. My body carries me through the streets as I run free outdoors. My body walks with me through the hard days and is there in the joyful ones. My body carries the artwork that has been permanently added to show my life journey. My body is accepting of the medicine I give it to help with my chronic disease. My body is the gift that I get every year to go another trip around the sun.
Today, as I sit on my yoga mat with sunlight streaming in the window and look out over the blanket of white snow my body feels at peace. It is constant work. I fight with my body frequently due to my diseases and my brains’ need to be busy all the time. My body stays with me, reminding me with pains and flare ups that I can’t push so hard but is stays with me. My body doesn’t give up and for that I am so truly grateful.
Our bodies carry our stories. They wear the scars, carry the burdens, shoulder the pain. Our bodies fight to keep us alive. Today my body woke up in pain. It was my reminder that I need to take care. I need water. I need food. I need rest.
Yesterday I pushed too hard.
Today I was reminded to breath.
Today I took a break.
Today I took a break and everything is still ok. I listened to my body and did what it needed and nothing fell apart.
I have written before about acknowledging the need for rest. I am getting better at it yet there are still days that I ignore the signals. Our bodies are so incredible but we need to listen. My gift to myself today was to listen. My gift to myself is to continue to listen.
I will be honest, I did get an external sign to remind me to check in with my body. My youngest crawled on top of me this morning before I woke to say “happy birthday”. I went to sit up and e said “momma, let’s just lay still together and breath” .
“yes…let’s just lay still together and breath”….
Until next time be unapologetically you while I be Unapologetically Me….