Wow…it has been so long since I last wrote anything. I am not going to lie, I tried but was stuck. I have way too many balls in the air at present and my brain just couldn’t write. And to be honest, I have been a little scared to write since I was a guest on The Mindful Dietitian Podcast with Fiona Sutherland (http://www.themindfuldietitian.com.au/lori-short-zamudio.html). I think my inner critic has been a too vocal since that episode aired…I mean… “what if everything I post is drivel (I love this word) now?? '“ What if everyone who listened and then considered reading wondered “ how the hell did she manage to get on at that podcast?” And possibly even more likely “what if more people read this and it’s not actually that good”. Interestingly, I have been critical of my work in the past but never to the point of avoiding to write. I love to write. I wanted to be a novelist when I was a kid, then a journalist as a teen, and now a blogger as an adult. I wanted to start with this because I think I wanted to acknowledge that we are continued works in progress. These last few months have been a reminder for me that I need to focus on self-care (Thank you Julie for that help) and joy. Writing brings me joy. So today I bring joy…
I went out for a walk today and was listening to a podcast about American Politics ( yes I know I am Canadian) and I was kind of half listening while I walked. Then a quote caught my attention- which I honestly can’t remember exactly but around it formed the whole point of this blog. It was about the differences between a thermostat and a thermometer. A thermostat sets the temperature and a thermometer tells the temperature. This really resonated with me in regards to diet culture and managing for the holidays. Stay with me… I think (read: hope) this will make sense.
The temperature in today’s society is screaming hot with body shaming, fat phobia, weight stigma and food policing. Pretty much every where we go we are doused with messaging about food and bodies. “Eat this for optimal health.” “Look like this (insert current socially acceptable look here) to be successful.” “Achieve enduring health by following these 10 ( or 5 or 50) steps.” Yet beware….if you do not eat this way, exercise this way, look this way or act this way, you will be less than, not good enough to be here or so society tells us. The process of changing this temperature will be slow. Much like the actual warming of the earth it will be slow but a few degrees can and will make a difference. We might be able to do this by looking at our thermostats.
Much like the homes I have lived in, we can set our own thermostat. Meaning that how we choose to talk about food and bodies in our homes, to our friends, family is our choice much like the temperature we set to stay warm in the winter. We can set boundaries in our lives that promote the type of talk we want to hear and engage in. We can curate our social media posts so that we see images that are in alignment with the values we place around bodies and food. We can set our thermostat to inclusive- all bodies regardless of size, shape, colour, gender or anything else is acceptable. We can set our thermostat to compassionate- acknowledge others lived experiences in their bodies and yours in yours. You can show compassion to your body by nourishing it with the foods that it needs to feel good and the movement it needs to feel joy. You can show compassion to your children by helping them learn their value in this world regardless of their bodies. And if their bodies do not meet the norms that society has placed on them you can continue to show compassion by not attempting to manipulate those bodies. We can set our thermostat to be free of diet talk. Diet talk is everywhere- we live in what I call Diet Stew. It is thick and sometimes difficult to move in. Yet you can banish it from your homes. You can set a boundary to everyone that comes across your threshold that diet talk is not permitted. There are so many other things that can be talked about with friends that do not include the words Macro, Keto, Paleo or inches. And when someone attempts to cross this boundary, or change the setting on the thermostat, it is ok to call them in and say “ We have decided that we do not want this type of talk happening in our home. I would be more than happy to sit down at another time so we can talk about why we feel this type of talk is harmful to ourselves but right now I would just love to sit and talk about other things”. You can set your thermostat to safety, meaning that you can create a space where you and your family feel safe from unwanted comments about bodies or food choices. And finally you can set your thermostat to peace. Peace with food, peace with bodies, peace with yourself.
And much like the fight over the thermostat when someone finds a room too hot or too cold, there will be people that attempt to bring the temperature from outside in. To that I say- you guard your thermostat because it is your space and you deserve to live in the temperature that you will thrive in- even if it doesn’t match the temperature of the world.
Until next time…be Unapologetically you, while I be Unapologetically Me…..